Do you sometimes feel like a victim?
Oxford Dictionary defines a victim as: “A person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action. A person who is tricked or duped.”
When we have been victimized (whether it is something minor or major), we are left feeling wounded, hurt, betrayed, fearful, traumatized.
These painful emotions turn into anger over time. Sometimes that transition happens quickly and sometime it takes a while. It also increases over time and can become rage. The longer we feel that anger and rage, the stronger those feelings become.
This pain and anger is very draining and leaves us feeling like a victim. It can permeate every area of our lives. And when we feel like a victim, we attract more experiences to us that “prove” we are a victim. We attract what we think, feel and believe. We attract experiences that match our vibration. That’s the Law of Attraction.
But how do you stop feeling like a victim if you were, in fact, victimized?
Stepping out of feeling like a victim just takes a shift in perspective.
The fact is: On a conscious level, you were victimized. You did experience being harmed by another person.
Our conscious self feels like a victim. That is the experience: feeling helpless, being taken advantage of, being injured (emotionally or physically), feeling violated, knowing you didn’t do anything to cause it.
The other side of feeling like a victim is recognizing the spiritual aspect of what happened. This can be difficult, I’m not going to lie. I’ve gone through this myself, which helped me to finally heal the trauma of being molested as a child.
For years, I struggled with forgiveness. Even the word bothered me. I knew what “forgiveness” meant. I’d watched enough Dr. Phil and read enough books and blog posts to know all about forgiveness.
I knew it didn’t mean making the action okay or acceptable. I knew it didn’t mean that the perpetrators were right or didn’t do anything wrong. I knew it was about releasing myself, and had nothing to do with the perpetrators. I knew carrying around all that pain and anger and rage only hurt me, and did absolutely nothing to them. I knew all that. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to forgive them – or the action.
Then I made a spiritual shift in my perspective.
I also knew that our souls create every experience we have. But I could never reconcile one with the other. How and why would my soul create such a painful and traumatic experience?
And I’ve also read tons about healing from incest. Enough that I knew how important it was for my healing, to place the blame where it belonged – squarely on the shoulders of the perpetrators.
It is very common for victims of sexual abuse to take on the shame of the perpetrator. And I had worked really hard on releasing that.
So how do I do both? How do I NOT blame myself or take on the shame of the perpetrators, while at the same time acknowledging that I attracted this situation to me on a subconscious level?
For years, I couldn’t.
Then I received some guidance from Spirit that freed me. For the first time in years, I no longer was holding on to all that anger and helplessness and victimhood.
I was finally able to bring both sides together.
On the one hand, you have the conscious experience of being victimized. And on the other hand, there’s the spiritual side.
Our souls create our experiences. But our souls are driven by programs in our Akashic Records.
Our Akashic Records are a record of every experience our souls have had since we were first created. And any time we have an experience that is negative, or that we perceive as negative, it creates a limiting program in our Akashic Records.
Limiting programs in our Akashic Records cause the soul to create painful experiences because the soul wants to learn something, have an experience, and “fix” the limiting programs.
The only way the soul knows to fix the programs is by creating these negative experiences, which make us feel victimized. So our painful experiences are (often) the soul’s way of trying to fix the program.
Our souls don’t create painful experience for the sake of causing us (our conscious mind) pain. It creates painful experiences as a means to grow and learn and evolve. But it can also be driven by programs to create those experiences.
Whatever painful or traumatic experiences you had were not your soul’s way of causing you pain for the sake of pain. They were caused by programs that your soul was trying to fix.
Using my experience as an example, I was molested as a child. So let’s say that I had molested someone (or caused similar harm) in a past life. Or let’s say, in a past life, I intentionally caused harm to a certain soul.
Those things will create programs in my Akashic Records. My soul wants to fix those limiting programs. The only way the soul knows to do that is to create an experience like being molested or allowing myself to be equally wounded by the soul I had intentionally hurt.
In this way, the soul gets to experience the same thing from the other side – as a victim – to fix the program.
Once I really got this – on a gut level, not just intellectually – I was able to realize that the other souls and my soul had agreed to co-create that experience to benefit all of us on a soul level.
And with that realization, I felt lighter and free of the past. I didn’t have to “forgive.” It’s like, I just got it. Yes, conscious me, as a little child, was innocent and vulnerable, and deeply wounded and traumatized. I don’t hold her responsible one iota. I know how I felt. And I know that I, as a child, was not responsible for the actions of the adults who hurt me.
Yet at the same time, I now also know that my soul created that experience because it was trying to help me. It was trying to fix the pain from the past, ironically by causing more pain in the present. But that’s the only way the soul knows to fix programs: It tries to recreate the experience from the other side so it can learn.
It’s not about punishment. And it’s not karma. It’s not God punishing us. And it’s not our souls punishing us. It’s our soul’s way to learn and grow and forgive and evolve and fix those limiting programs.
There is a better way.
By clearing programs in our Akashic Records with Spiritual Response Therapy, our souls get the education and knowledge they were seeking without having to create painful experiences.
How to shift from pain and victimhood to freedom and forgiveness
- Acknowledge the experience and pain of being a victim of whatever happened to you, and know you were not at fault – not one iota. (This may take some journaling or processing of emotions to get at a deep, emotional level.)
- Remember that our souls create every experience we have, whether pleasant or painful.
- Know that our souls create painful, “victim” experiences as a way of fixing the past life programs in our Akashic Records.
- Realize our victim experience is somehow related to the harm we caused in a past life (or lives). (This could be the experience or the souls involved or both.)
- Remember these painful experiences are not punishment on any level. We are not being punished by God, the Universe, Karma, our own souls, or anyone else.
- Leave the past in the past. Every soul has harmed other souls in past lives.
This comes up all the time in clients’ clearings. It is part of the human experience, for better or worse. We all knew that when we chose to incarnate.
These are all experiences our souls have to grow and learn and evolve. Don’t turn this around on yourself, and think that you deserve to be punished for something you did in a past life.
Remember: Every soul creates its experiences. So whatever harm you may have done to another in a past life, your soul co-created with them, just like your soul co-created your victim experience in this life.
We are all responsible for our own lives, our own experiences, and how we choose to go through this lifetime.